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How to Say No

By January 25, 2020November 23rd, 2020No Comments

The Stronger Revolution Podcast is primarily about setting and achieving goals.  Throughout the episodes, we have laid out a process by which you identify your motivation to achieve goals (you purpose) and then organize and structure your life to guarantee progress.  Part of that process involves the ability to say, “No.”  “No, I don’t have time to help with that.”  “No, thank you, I need to save time to do something else.”  “No, I can’t help, I will be spending time with my family.”

The challenging part of saying No isn’t actually saying it.  The words are simple.  The challenge in saying No is feeling justified in doing so.  This is often motivated or hindered by fear.  Fear that you might make someone mad.  Fear that you might disappoint someone.  Fear that if you say No this time, they won’t ever ask again.  Fear that an empty calendar means nobody wants you around.  However, if you have a reason to say No, actually saying it becomes much easier.

If you constantly say Yes to everything request in your day, you will never have time to dedicate to what you want to do.  Therefore, you need to create space.  You need to separate yourself from distractions so that you have time, attention, and energy to dedicate to one thing.  You cannot be a slave to your calendar and you cannot be a slave to the whims of everyone else.

This is a balancing act.  At one extreme, is someone who says Yes all the time.  This person has no time to themselves.  This can often lead to a feeling of needing constant interaction with others.  It can also lead to burnout and resentment.  At the other extreme is someone who says No all the time.  This person spends too much time alone and often develops anxiety when others are around.  A life alone is not a happy life.  Therefore, we need to find a balance in the middle.  We need to spend some time saying yes, and reserve some time for ourselves.  This balance act is going to be a constant challenge.  Sometimes, we will feel too available to everyone else.  Then, we have to start saying No.  Later, we might start feeling too alone and isolated.  That’s when we have to go back to saying Yes.

For more information on the Art of Saying No, check out the Podcast Episode: